Hello hello hello!
So, I’m starting my journal here on my site. I will probably write in this journal when I have time or when I feel like it. It won’t be so daily or regular, as I am always really busy with so many things. But this is kind of a way to stay on top of what I’m doing and have people check in with me and so on.
Today it’s pretty cloudy in Tokyo, and I have a lot of things I’m working on at the moment, including adding new content to my site, working on my book, doing research for my video game, and taking care of various idol obligations/activities. Hana’s new songs have been fully edited and her CD cover too, so I plan on talking to Hana about this. Also, I need to prepare for an online cheki session that will take place tomorrow.
As usual, lots to do. My mental state is pretty happy. I got to meet with an overseas idol fan today. He brought me a can of Dr. Pepper and a pack of cheki film. Architect Girl brought me Gong Cha tea… usually on Mondays, I have something awful happen, and true, at the time of writing this little post, something bad can still happen. Yet so far, my Monday is going quite well, and I can’t complain.
I do have a lot of problems sleeping, and I stay up all night, and that makes me a zombie most of the day. I can’t sleep. I just can’t. I don’t know why, but often I just lay on my bed exhausted and out of it. Like, totally mind fucked, but then I pull myself up out of bed and try to get work done. It’s the story of my life. How about you? What’s your story?
I hope that I can connect with many people by making this blog and my thoughts available for anybody who thinks what I’m saying and feeling is important enough to read and check out. If you are one of those people that think so, THANK YOU. I mean it. I realize I’m not anybody special, so if you take time to give me your attention, just know that it’s appreciated in more ways than I can possibly ever write to you and tell you about. I mean that. Like, truly.

I am keeping my eyes on the goal, which is trying to earn about 4,00000 yen a month (which if I got this monthly, I would be living in a very happy, carefree state of mind. That’s ALL I need to be free… yet it seems impossible to obtain), finish my next book, get moving on creating my video game, working hard to make Miho, Hana, and Kosame’s music important to people worldwide, and making sure I spread idol to overseas people as much as possible. And enjoying life as much as possible, as the goal of our existence, I believe, is to find happiness. To be happy, and to work on happiness in the afterlife too. And yes, I believe in the world after this one. I really do. Living in Japan has taught me that there is this world and then there is another much more deeper, visceral world that you cannot quite put your finger on or fully understand but…. it’s there. I feel it a lot here… I feel like there’s something deeply spiritual going on in Japan, and I can’t quite explain it. But it’s real… that much I DO know. But this is a conversation for another time.
I want everybody to be happy in their lives. I want you to know I’m here and I am interested in talking to you. And I am looking for people or even one person to support my artistic endeavors and help me get through this life so that I can do what I do best, which is to create works of art for people to consume.
As I’ll say probably a lot in the future and now too… there are two types of people in this world: PRODUCERS and CONSUMERS. I love being a consumer when I can, but when I wake up everyday, I am a PRODUCER through and through. The problem in my life, by far the biggest hurdle I have to jump on a daily basis, is having the income necessary to take care of annoying life stuff like paying bills, in order to have time and freedom to produce what I want to produce. The idea is, of course, to produce something that will pay the bills and earn me enough money to continue to produce things, but how many artists actually accomplish this goal in their lives? Usually not many, I would imagine (no statistical reference for this… just my gut feeling on the matter). So… I am hoping people will read my thoughts and decide to back me and help me. And if you want to do that, DM me, or message me using the contact form here, or on facebook or twitter, or join my PATREON page. I will continue to dream and work and dream and work and hopefully people out there will love what I’m doing and want to support it.
Even just getting a letter explaining how much you love what I’m doing… it’s helpful to me, you know? I am not one of those artists that wants to create art that nobody will ever see. I NEED people to experience whatever art I make and tell me about it and enjoy it to the fullest.

THAT, to me, is where my happiness can be found in this world. Recognition from creation, and creation itself. Does it make sense to you? If it does, then keep checking back with what I’m doing here and any questions or comments you have, I’m here to have a discussion with you.

Looking forward to the future with you.

Currently listening to: Awich
Recently watched: Retro Rick’s game hunting videos on youtube

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